its often said that misery aint determined by appearances. but if it hurts enough the appearances cant be hidden no? then again that depends on the kinda person one is. people who know me, would know that when shit happens, it's kinda written all over my face. or my entire physical being for that matter. only good thing that comes outa it is..that i get closer to that 48kg mark! (which is NEVER attainable no matter how miserable i am may i add =s) so when at some point in time..shit happens..and the tears dont fall..when its not about screaming silence but about not trying to scream at all..and people say im strong when i know im not..it makes me wonder if it's cause it doesnt matter as much to me as it does another person who's been through the same shit.

yet..i do love my mom. i miss her. so much.